North Carolina Divorce Lawyers Blog

Articles Posted in Divorce Recovery

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September is National Self-Care Awareness Month. It is a time to remind yourself that you should tend to yourself just as much as you tend to others. Self-care is different for everyone. For some, it’s a brief escape from reality in a good book or movie. For others, it can be a simple run in the park on a dewy morning. Some find that perfect moment when they sit back and gaze at their perfectly mowed lawn. And yet for others, it might even be finally going forward with divorce!

Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be luxurious. And it doesn’t need to be brief. Self-care is the concept that focuses on recharging your own spirit so that you can have the energy to spend on others. It is more a mindset than any singular task. It should reduce your stress and allow you respite from the daily turmoil. It should not be confused with being selfish.

Self Care Ideas

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“My marriage has fallen apart…I must be a failure as a spouse.” Perhaps that thought that has run through your head while enduring the divorce process. These intrusive thoughts have a name: cognitive distortion. They are inaccurate, overly broad thoughts that reinforce negative thinking. It is thought that people developed these distortions as a coping mechanism for negative events they experience. An interesting evolutionary theory suggests that early in human history it was a useful shortcut to analyzing for threats, thereby increasing the likelihood of survival. Obviously in the modern age, this quick-thinking threat analysis has much reduced benefit. Some common types of distortions are below: Continue reading →

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HeydonGrauss v. Comm’r, T.C. Memo. 2018209, 2018 WL 6720943 (2018)

(a) Facts: Husband and wife filed joint tax returns for tax years 2005 to 2009. They separated on 2010 and were divorced in 2015.

The parties did not enclose full payment with their 2005-2009 tax returns until 2010. The wife was not aware of this fact until 2010. But she was aware that the parties were spending beyond their incomes and living beyond their means. The wife paid nothing on the parties’ tax liabilities, and the divorce decree ordered her to reimburse the husband for half of the payments he had made. Continue reading →

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by Amy Setzer, Legal Assistant
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Getting divorced is hard enough.  BEING divorced and trying to move beyond the past is a whole different ball game.  Putting your trust in a new relationship is hard.  The thought of sitting through the cliché movie – dinner – coffee dates making idle chit chat and trying to get to know someone new can be daunting and repetitive.  Why not try something different?  Get out of Greensboro, North Carolina, get out of your comfort zone.  Traveling with someone is a great way to figure out how and if you are compatible with them. Continue reading →

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Recently, Kiplinger’s reported on “gray divorce,” or divorce among couples that have been married for 30-plus years. It pointed out the emotional and financial drains of a divorce, even when couples are older and presumed to have more security. Couples may find divorce tough if they’ve been married for so long that their assets and future plans are tied together. Often both spouses wind up living on half of the income they anticipated but many of the same expenses when they have a late-in-life divorce.

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Mark Griffin, M.E., Blog Writer
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It’s summertime, and that means kids around Greensboro will be beating the heat. But they probably won’t be hanging out at the pool or lake like their parents did. It’s more likely they will be huddled around their electronic devices playing video games or watching YouTube. The World Health Organization has recently classified addiction to video games as a certified mental disorder. Our children are particularly susceptible during the summer months when they are out of school and have less structured activities. Continue reading →

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Mark Griffin, M.E., Blog Writer
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Divorce is never easy. It turns your world upside down. Ending a relationship you thought was to last till death forces you to part is emotionally devastating. When you are a parent, and throw children into that emotional turmoil, then you have to deal with a hurricane of guilt and remorse. Continue reading →

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Dear Carolyn,

I am separated.  We were only married two years before separating. She is having an affair.  I bought my wife a huge engagement ring, which I gave to her before the wedding.  I still owe $25,000 on the ring, which was borrowed before we got married.  We paid on the ring during the marriage out of my earnings.  My ex will not give back the ring.  What are my options?

– Help Me!

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Dear Carolyn,

My heart is broken. The mother of my children has bad-mouthed me so much and talked about our nasty divorce to the children so much that the children won’t talk to me or visit with me. She has poisoned their minds. What can I do? Continue reading →